Valentine’s Day Horror Movies Pt 2









So, Valentine’s Day is tomorrow. Eh.
Last year I made a list of movies to watch for the holiday. This year, I’ve compiled another list of movies that have some relation to fuzzy love but of course with a heart shaped side of horror and weirdness.








Thrist


What’s up? A priest, Sang-hyeon, near death has a tainted blood transfusion and turns into vampire. (Why would a vampire donate blood?) He has to battle between his lingering humanity and his need for blood.


Where’s the love? He crossed paths with a family from his childhood. A mother that is so in love with her son it’s borderline icky, the sickly son and his wife, Tae-ju. Sang-hyeon has always held a candle for Tae-ju so he puts his loyalty to his religious duties aside and falls in love with her. The love seems mutual even after she finds out he’s a vampire, but all that turns to crap once he finds out that she’s not the innocent girl he thought she was.


Things get more out of control when he turns her and her wild ways multiply. He’s constantly cleaning up her messes and grows tired of it all. There’s a point where Tae-ju’s behavior leads you to believe that she’s just using Sang-hyeon, but in the end we see that she still has that deep-rooted love for the orphan boy she knew as a kid.








Cloverfield


What’s up? Big giant monster attacks NYC. People run around with a video camera.


Where’s the love? Rob gets into a fight with his “one night stand but wants to be more” friend-girl Beth, prior to the attack. Once Rob finds out that Beth is trapped in her apartment, he says “fuck this monster shit yo, I’m gonna save her and then she’ll forget about the fight. Score!” Ok, that’s not a direct quote but I’m sure he was thinking those exact words. Yes, I’m sure of it.


Rob’s journey to Beth’s place cost him his brother, some friends and maybe (?) his own life. But besides the awesomeness of seeing the monster, it’s sidekicks and all the flashy gunfire and explosions, Rob’s love for Beth gave him the charge to save her no matter what.






Bride of Chucky


What’s up? Chucky’s back at it again. Voodoo, body exchanging and bloody murder!


Where’s the love? Behind every Good Guy is a… Tiffany. Chucky is brought back to life by an old girlfriend, Tiffany, who is ready to settle down and make a life together (even if he is a doll). When Tiffany finds out Chucky isn’t on the same page, she locks him up and taunts him. Well, Chucky wasn’t having it and killed her and turned her into a doll too.


Though the relationship was one sided, the two still had a moment of expressed love (screwing after killing a couple) which lead to a pseudo marriage and a planted seed. It’s a crazy kind of love.








Let the Right One In


What’s up? Oskar is the nerdy kid in school that gets picked on. Once he meets his new neighbor Eli, she gives him the courage and support to stand up for himself. Oh yeah, and she’s a vampire.


Where’s the love? Well, everyone should know, I have endless amounts of passionate love for this movie. For real, ask anyone. Oskar sparks a “puppy dog” kind of love for Eli before he finds out what she is. Her past keeps her from wanting to fall for Oskar, but well, she does anyway. There is an “awww”-some kind of cuteness between them. I think Oskar is way to young to really know what love is but he’s closer to it than most adults.


And I have to mention that I’m quite the cynical and jaded person when it comes to romance and love-dovey type of shit; but I have read some debates on Eli only wanting to be with Oskar so she can use him to bring her blood and so on. My heart can’t accept that notion and I truly believe that Eli’s feelings for Oskar are 100 percent genuine. She could have bailed town and found some other skeezy perv to do her blood biddings. She connected with Oskar so she didn’t want any harm to come to him and she didn’t want to be without him. Aww.






Freaks


What’s up? Cleopatra, a beautiful trapeze artist plans to marry a midget Hans for his recent inheritance. She teams up with her bone-buddy, “normal carnie” Hercules, the strongest man and works to earn the respect of the other freaks at the carnival. They plan to poison Hans and run off with his money but once the freaks find out, shit goes down.


Where’s the love? Well it’s not with the ho-bag Cleo but with Hans and other midget Frieda. Even though Hans throws Frieda to the side once he thinks Cleo wants him, she still loves him and cares for him (even if it is in a door-mat kind of way). When the two reconcile in the end, it’s undeniable that they were always meant to be together (and not just because they are the same size)






The Man With Two Brains


What’s up? A famous brain surgery, Michael, is in a bad marriage but falls for the brain of another chick.


Where’s the love? Michael’s relationship with the brain is everything he wanted in a woman. She’s smart, funny and totally cute. Minus the fact that she doesn’t have a body. This movie gives hopes to guys and gals that don’t believe that someone can fall in love with you for your mind. Har-har. (Sorry I couldn’t resist)










My Boyfriend’s Back


What’s up? Johnny is in love with school hottie Missy. He dies trying to save her and returns to life as a zombie just to take her to prom. (I can’t hold back my picky annoyance that title is misleading. They weren’t dating when he died but meh, I guess it’s for the purpose of using a song title as a movie title. *cough Lame cough*


Where’s the love? Well, he came back to life for her! As quoted in the movie some chick says “My boyfriend won’t even pump gas for me!”


Missy feels an awkward obligation to fulfill her date with Johnny, but she can’t help but appreciate his loving efforts to eat people so he can stay fresh, in order to extend his time to be with her. I’d take that over a gas pump.




Shaun of the Dead


What’s up? The zombie plague breaks out in Englund and slacker Shaun must fight his way to safety..to his favorite pub.


Where’s the love? Like Cloverfield, Shaun had a fight with his girlfriend who broke up with him right before the outbreak started. He doesn’t care if she doesn’t want to see him ever again, he wants to get her back and be her zombie-fighting hero. Also, there’s another love story here, Shaun and his babe, urr, I mean best friend, have their own loving chemistry going on.










High Tension


What’s up? Alex and her friend Celine visit Alex’s family in their secluded country home. When a psycho killer ( Questce que c’est?) stops by to kill the family and kidnap Alex; stealthy Celine must go after him to save Alex.


Where’s the love? Well, without blowing the ending, you can get some fragments of Celine’s lusty love for Alex. And also the original title of the movie is Switchblade Romance which gave me the impression (before seeing this) that the killer had a crazy, loving obsession with the girls he killed. We don’t know the killer’s history so there could have been equal fascinations with other girls before Alex. And that’s as vague as I can be to anyone who has not seen this.






Wild at Heart


What’s up? This is my absolute, number one, favorite Lynch movie. Lovers Sailor and Lula, reunite after Sailor’s released from prison. Sailor violates his probation to run off with Lula to California. This movie holds the typical strangeland Lynch touch with a “Wizard of Oz on acid” backdrop.




Where’s the love? It’s all up in your face! It’s spread all over the sheets of every hotel room this couple has been in. Ok, I’m done being vile.


The lovers relationship have endured many tests and fucked up situations and through it all, they still make it out with every ounce of love and passion they had for each other from the beginning. Sailor always gets mixed up in something bad but Lula has never turned her back on him.


Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone ❤


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Valentine’s Day Horror Movies


As a single girl, my Valentine’s Day tradition is normally watching some horror love-themed movie and snuggling with my dogs. Seems sad, but if you watched some of the movies I do, you’ll have no urge to rush into your next relationship. Here are some of my picks:

1. My Bloody Valentine (original)– Obvious Choice #1. The remake is a fun watch but I prefer the original especially on the love theme. Some miners die on Valentine’s Day because two workers were careless and wanted to go to the annual V-Day dance instead of doing their jobs. The only survivor of the accident kills off two workers and warns the town to never have another Valentine’s Day dance again….or else! I think the thing that I loved about this movie was the end. The very last scene was creepy but related to one dude’s love for a chick. 


2. Valentine– Obvious Choice # 2.  This wasn’t the greatest movie and the end was predictable but at least for Valentine’s Day you can get some sort of kick out of it. Girls get stalked by a kid they made fun of in school and he’s striking back on V-Day. 
3. Misery- You would think being famous would be awesome but not when some psycho, #1 fan wants to strap you to a bed and keep you forever!  If you don’t know already, a writer gets into an accident during a shitty snow storm but he’s saved by a crazed fan that wants him to write shit her way. 



4. Teeth The very first time I saw this trailer, I thought, “oh my god, this would be the PERFECT first date movie!” A chick has teeth in her vag and everyone seems to want to bang her. I really don’t need to get into much explanation on this movie, even watching it alone I can still get a kick out of all the chomping scenes. 





5. Play Misty For Me When you’re Clint Eastwood, chicks are throwing themselves at you all the damn time! In this movie he plays a rockin’ DJ with an obsessed fan who loves the song “Misty.” Clint character has what he believes is a one night stand with the chick but she turns into a crazy stalker trying to ruin his life. A cautionary tale for the single and the horny. Think Fatal Attraction only no bunny. 


6. May May is a lonely girl just looking to connect with someone. She’s strange, she’s into some sick shit but deep down, aren’t we all a little strange and sick? Ok maybe not but still I think that this movie is one that everyone can relate to on some level. I can’t say that I have ever felt loneliness to the extremes that she does but throughout the whole movie I completely felt what she was feeling. Another movie with an ending that I just loved




7. Roman– The guy’s May. Roman’s obsession with his neighbor leads to her death, covering up and falling in love with a new neighbor. This one is not as poetic as May but still a little bit relate-able. Also the lead actor is the director of May and the director of Roman…is the leading lady in May. Wrap your mind around that one. 






8. Love Object If Lars and the Real Girl were a horror movie, it would be Love Object. A guy buys a sex doll, tries to make it like a co-worker he has thing for only, this doll may or may not be taking on a life of it’s own. It’s bad enough for guys who have girlfriends running their lives but when it’s a doll telling you what to do, that’s gotta be worse right? I would suggest for guys to just get a fleshlight instead. 







9. Calvaire– If the person you loved left you, you’d go through the motions then get over it right? Well Marc, a traveling singer gets stuck in a hilly billy town and comes across a crazed man looking to displace his angry towards the wife that left him. Marc gets trapped in this man’s sick, twisted world. This movie is not a straight-up “love” movie but the theme is there and this is a pretty damn good movie for anyone who hasn’t seen it. This is very Deliverance-like but it’s haunting and more fucked up. 





10. Enduring Love– Another Fatal Attraction type movie, only it’s a dude jonesin’ for another dude. Daniel Craig is pretty sexy in a James Bond kind of way but I wouldn’t think he could turn someone gay. An unfortunate accident brings two strangers together but one (Rhy Ifans) soon develops a sick, twisted infatuation with the other (Daniel Craig). Rhy Ifans’ performance in this movie is down right chilling. Throughout the whole movie he creeped me out and made me uneasy. In this case, you don’t have to have a one night stand with anyone or be a famous writer to have a crazy person want you, just being you can do the trick as well. 


Have A Happy Bloody Valentine’s Day Everyone!