Tonight starts the new season of Joe Lynch and Adam Green’s Holliston. If you’re a fan of the show I’m sure you’ve been looking forward to this as much as I have. If you haven’t seen the show, check it out fellow horror fans!
Before the new season started I decided to re-watch the whole first season. Turns out Holliston carries a lot of life lessons.
Here’s are five lessons Holliston taught me about life.
Lesson One (Episode: The Hooker) Don’t date someone who has never seen Gremlins. They don’t know the rules. It’s dangerous: I’ve been told not to be picky when you’re in the dating scene. I admit I got instantly turned off by a date who was wearing way too many silver rings. I thought he might have been a magician or something. You have to be open-minded when it comes to dating but not when your life may depend on it. Some girls want their guy to know how to change a tire or kill a spider; I need a guy who knows basic horror survival rules. I know it’s not very realistic to believe that maybe some day gremlins will overcome the world but it’s crucial to know that sun light kills them.
Life lesson: It’s important to have a partner that supports your needs, hopes and anything you face in life, but it’s also important that they know how to kill gremlins, zombies, vampires and other such things that can randomly appear at any time. I need a partner who can handle his shit if any or all of those things come at us.
Lesson Two (Episode: Camera Rental) If an apartment is cutely cheap, it’s probably haunted: Corri and Laura finally find an affordable apartment. The girls don’t question why the place is so cheap until it’s too late. As it turns out, the apartment is haunted.
Life lesson: If an apartment is too cheap to be true, someone died there. When you move into a home, it has to be disclosed that someone died there but not in a rental situation. It would be good to know if the last tenant played hangman or pulled an Amityville Horror in the place you’re about to sleep in.
Lesson Three (Episode: Candyman) Stand up to bullies: Tony Todd overstays his welcome and the guys are too afraid to tell him to leave. When Tony says some terrible things about Corri, Adam balls up and tells Tony off. Tony scatters off and all is right with the world.
Life Lesson: Don’t let people walk all over you, let them know what’s up! Sometimes it seems easier to be pushed around but it feels so much better when you tell that person how you really feel. Maybe you’ll get your ass kicked or maybe they’ll back off. It’s better to stand up for yourself than to let someone take advantage of you. Plus, you can always take karate classes.
Lesson Four (Episode: Laura’s Little Twitter) Don’t post pictures of yourself on any social media until you have friends look at it first: Laura gets a lot of followers on Twitter but she can’t understand why. When the group checks out her account photo, they see her camel toe. I post impropriate pictures of myself all the time on purpose, but I would hate to have one posted on accident.
Life Lesson: In this episode not only did I learn various names I can call my lady bits but I learned that I should have my pictures screened so no one can tell me the various names they have for my lady bits.
Lesson Five (Episode: Weekend of Horrors) Don’t give up: During a horror con, the guys give the great John Landis a trailer for their film. John writes them a letter and basically tells them that they should not be filmmakers. A blow like that would kill someone’s soul but the guys decide to embrace the criticism.
Life lesson: It’s easy to give up when things seem hopeless and people are bringing you down. If you’re passionate about something, then stick to it. Haters are gonna hate and it may even be someone you admire who wants to kick your dreams in the sack but don’t give in to giving up!
If you have Fearnet, the first episode of Holliston season two premieres tonight! If you don’t have it, all episodes will be available on Itunes the day after it airs.