Awesome Chick Flick: The Craft

Women in Horror Month comes to an end today. (Where the hell did this month go?)

And with 27 percent of the votes on the “Favorite Chick Flick” poll, the winner is The Craft.

This isn’t only a rad chick flick it’s a rad chicks flick. Every one of these witchy girls hold some awesomeness in my movie.

Bonnie is labeled a “monster” because of burns on her skin, but when she gets sexifed, she owns it.

Rochelle is tired of being picked on by a racist blonde but she gets pay back when the blonde goes bald. Hilarious!

Then there are Sarah and Nancy. They are the essence of good vs. evil. Sarah is the one with the real, true powers and Nancy just borrows hers from a higher power. Sarah knows right from wrong and Nancy can’t resist how right wrong feels.

I think this makes an awesome chick flick and maybe it was voted higher than the others because what girl doesn’t wish she had some magic Wiccan powers to better her life and eh maybe get revenge on the ones that have wronged you. This came out in the end of my Freshman year in high school and I could relate to Sarah a lot. When I started high school I was going to a school where I didn’t know anyone and I was also going to a Catholic school for the first time. There were no boys there to spread rumors about you but the girls were just as evil as the bitches err I mean witches.

There is also something there for the guys to enjoy, eye candy maybe and some chick fighting. Good times.

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Awesome Chick Flick(s): Ginger Snaps Double Feature

Over the weekend I revisited Ginger Snaps and Ginger Snaps: Unleashed (I never watched the third one all the way through) It’s been a while since I’ve seen the 2nd one and it still holds up to the the first film.

*If you haven’t seen these or at least the first one, stop reading and go see it/them….now!*

In the first film, sisters Ginger and Brigitte are morbidly obsessed with death. They like to cover themselves in blood and act out suicide scenes while taking pics. The girls have an oath to die together before they turn into adults.

Ginger is the sexy “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me” sister and Brigitte, well, she’s keeps to herself in a nerdy way and she kind of reminds of me of Igor. Just a little.

Once Ginger is attacked by a werewolf, she confuses her transition with puberty. Yes, shaving your legs is a natural part of life, but not when you’re doing it constantly and um, growing a tail isn’t apart of the package. I check every morning and right before I go to bed. Nothing.

Brigitte searches for a cure for Ginger but meanwhile, Ginger starts getting out of control. She eats the neighbor’s dog, bones douche bags and starts attacking people.

Brigitte mixed up with a drug dealer and they find a semi-tempi-cure. Brigitte must face off with Ginger but wa-wa, it’s too late.

In the first film, Ginger was the awesome chick. Her crazy grrr-ness rocked.

Now carrying on to the second film, Brigitte is now infected, living off the semi-tempi-cure like a junkie and she’s admitted to rehab center for the drug. In the center, she’s hiding out from another werewolf that’s out to bone her, also she is fighting off her own transformation and visions of Ginger. Brig befriend a comic-lovin’ little girl named Ghost. Ghost doesn’t quite concept the line between fantasy and reality. Actually, she uses that line to play jump rope.

Brigitte is the awesome chick in this flick. She was the wimpy Sarah Conner in The Terminator and then became the hardcore survivalist tough chick Sarah became in T2. Both fighting for their lives and the future outcome.

What I love about this second film is that the ending is really fucked up. We want to see Brigitte either some how cured or put out of her misery. *Psst, we don’t get that*

I think Ginger rules overall, but I love how Brigitte grew into the comfort of being a bad-ass. In a way she was forced because being on your own and hiding a deadly secret can give you some edge but she had the chance to end her life but didn’t. She held hope for herself and for the possibility being stronger. I love that.

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Awesome Chick Flick: Carrie

I went to an all girls Catholic school so I know chicks can be really cruel. I was fortunate enough to have a cool small group of friends and never in my life have I been pelted with tampons. Not even at a crazy slumber party.

I also have never had anything dumped on me either (being dumped on doesn’t count) When I was in junior high, my friends and I would sit outside on the blenchers and just hang out and often we’d have to dodge bird poop. I remember once having a bird poop on my school bag and thinking that was awful but I guess it doesn’t quite match the horrifying public display of having blood all over you.

Carrie White was not as fortunate as I was. Carrie kind of sucks at life. Her Jesus freak mom keeps her from knowing the world, especially when it comes to knowing what a period is or the glory of owning “dirty pillows.” (And how glorious they true are.)

Carrie’s journey into puberty opens her discovery to the strength of her telepathic powers. She doesn’t use her powers to better her grades in school or to make her classmates like her but she uses to get awesomefied or revenge. Same thing.

At first her powers came in handy when it came to metaphorically bitch slapping her mom. She was all “Woman, if you don’t shut up your bible thumpin’ ways I’ll throw your ass in the closet with that freaky Jesus with the glowing eyes!” Ka-pow!

As Carrie thinks she’s settling into a normal teenage life: Hottie Tommy Ross asking her out, the hip, “not afraid to slap a student” gym teacher giving her a makeover and so on, she’s deluded herself from realizing it’s a trick. Oh yes Carrie, they are all going to laugh at you.

When Carrie’s at the prom with Tommy she gets at least one memorable moment before she turn into the “fire, water, burn” chick. Tommy gives a spinning good time and he enjoyed being with her. And for that moment, everyone likes her.

Then comes to king and queen annoucements. Carrie and Tommy get on stage. Tommy thinks “Yeah, I totally knew you guys would vote for me cause I’m awesome and my hair rules.” and Carrie takes the feeling of really being accepted by her peers. She broke free of her mom, let the dirty pillow breath life and now she’s normal finally…norm… *splat*

Pink dress now drenched in pig’s blood.

Carrie then kicks up her powers times 3 and wipes out everyone in the school. Even poor Tommy who was knocked out by the blood bucket. I was sad by that, he was too busy being passed out for her to imagine him laughing at her. And right before he was hit, the dude was ready to throw down!

When she goes crying to mommy who wasn’t having her devil powers, they brawl, of course Carrie wins and then, destroys herself.

Carrie became a great icon for bullies who believed in the supernatural. Yes, you can taunt and torture someone but maybe, just maybe, if you push them too far, they’ll set your ass on fire.

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Awesome Chick Flick: Hostel Part II

The first Hostel film broke ground in the “torture porn” sub-genre. It made people puke, pass out or refuse to travel abroad every again.

I know Hostel Part II was not a well received follow-up to the first film but you know what, I thought it rocked!

The first film took us into the world of where people were sold to sadistic people with the urge to know what it’s like to kill someone. The drunken, sex-crazed guys in the film were enticed by hot chicks and free sex so of course they are going to be easy prey.

I love that not only did Part 2 give the audience the view point of the people who desire the feel to take a life but the main characters are chicks.

The lead, Beth, is the balance between her wild friend Whitney and the meek nerd, Lorna. Beth is the smart one who doesn’t need drugs, or dick to get captured into the mix of the hunting society. Even though Beth freaks out once she realizes that she was going to be tortured to death, she pulls her shit together and takes control of a situation. Yeah!

When I went to see this in theaters, there was one scene that made guys a little um uncomfortable. I, on the other hand, cheer and clapped and I’m sure I’ll yelled “Fuck yeah!” at one point.

Regardless of the things people have against Hostel 2, I love the reflection on how if chicks were put in the same situation like the guys in the first film, we’d be able to handle ourselves just fine. And yes, it would be nice to have butt loads of money to be able to buy yourself out of anything but I still think Beth would have kicked some ass or died trying.

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Awesome Chick Flick: Death Proof

I have to put aside some minor annoyance with getting into this movie. As a female even I wanted to mow down the chicks in this flick (segment 2).

We have two set of hot, happenin’ chicks in this movie. The first set are laid back, pot smokin’, “keep the drinks comin'” type of girls.

I feel for these girls. All they wanted to do was cruise Austin, hang out at bars listening to great music and make out with some boys. If I had the power, I would take the kick-ass abilities of the 2nd set of girls and give it to them.

I know having these girls in the movie is important. We get to see Stuntman Mike’s ferocious desire and obsession to taunt the girls. He studied them and knew when the right time was for him to strike. The crash for him was like the ultimate orgasm and he wanted nothing more than to recover and begin his new search for more girls. We don’t know how long he’s been doing it but we do get to see his last time.

Yes, these chicks talk way too much and I’ll have to do a world-wide poll, but really, I don’t know any girls that give a shit about Italian Vogue (and for one being in the movie biz, one should be able afford to pay 27 bucks for it instead of having to split it 3 ways with other people) I also refuse to believe that some girls will think it’s ok that a mixed tape can make up for a guy you’ve been into that seemed into you, fucking another girl on your birthday. Come on!

Ok, I had to get that off my crazy confused girl mind, carrying on now…

The great thing about these girls are…they kick ass! Stuntman Mike didn’t do his stalking research when he picked the girls, maybe he would have known at least one of them was a stunt worker as well.

The best girl of them all is Abernathy. At the beginning of “Ship’s Mast” she was the paranoid, worried “mum” of the group. During the game, Abby’s taste for adrenaline starts to grow. When Mike starts attacking, it fuels her to feel angry and want revenge. The result, the girls make Mike cry like a bitch and Abby gets out all of her aggression with a final kick in the face!

I think for people who aren’t a fan of this movie or the girls, they still have to really enjoy the last scene. Just watching it again made me giddy and I had a major case of the “YOU GO GIRL!”

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Awesome Chick Flick: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

For my first choice of my “Awesome Chick Flick” month, I chose Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

At the impressionable age of 11, Buffy was my idol. (It was the first movie I saw 3 times in the theater.) She was a girly-girl who had the ability to kick ass without breaking a nail. I wasn’t much of a girl nor did I care about my nails but I love that this movie showed a typical girl slaying vampires instead of the rough and tough bad boy saving the girly-girl.

Another great part of this movie is the cast. I look at this now and think “Wow Donald Sutherland…really?” but this jump-started the career of Hillary Swank and it gave us back Paul Reuben after his wiener incident. There’s also a Ben Affleck cameo in there and holy crap! Did anyone else know that Thomas Jane was in here somewhere too? Endless amounts of goodness going on in the casting.

Six years later my love for this movie invoked me to give the tv show a try. I wasn’t sure if it would work as series and where the hell was Pike? With the story tailor-made per Joss Whedon’s original screenplay, Buffy the show, ended up being compellingly better than the movie and it also took an emotional hold on me for 7 years. The movie is a lighter version of what Whedon wanted but the show brought out a darker side to what Buffy had to face and the instant maturity she had to endure with each “big bad” she defeated every season.

The character Buffy, whether it be the movie or tv show character, is a great example of how hard-core chicks can be. Whedon shred the image that the clueless blonde didn’t have what it took to survive in a horror movie. I commend him for that (even though I’m a brunette and I think I got some clues about stuff)

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