Rare Exports Review: All I want for Xmas is more blood!

With Christmas just a week away, I love to cozy up with some Silent Night, Deadly Night, Christmas Evil, Gremlins, Black Christmas and other such horror-esque movies. As much as I love these great classic, I’ve been craving some new holiday horror. Thankfully I was given the opportunity to catch a screening of the Finnish Christmas horror film Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. 

Just days before Christmas, a team of explorers drilling through a Finland mountain discover a rare gem buried within. They realize that their icy find is none other than THE Santa Claus. Soon after, the kids in the small town below the mountain start disappearing. Dun dun dunnnn. 





Pietari, a young boy with a Santa phobia believes that Santa Claus is coming to town, and it isn’t a good thing. 


Pietari has been studying the legend of Santa and knows that back in the day before he was frozen and stored in the mountain, he used to beat and torture naughty boys and girls. This ain’t no Coca-cola Santa up in here! 


As the story unfolds, Pietari, his father and other town folk learn that evil elves are roaming the town trying to free Santa, hand over the naughty boys and girls and well, kill anyone that gets in their way. 





Over all, I really enjoyed this film. I have to say that my 8 year-old self would have make out with this film because I could relate to Pietari’s child-like intrigue with the dark side of Santa and would have admired his ballsin’ it up approach to taking charge of this situation. 


The downside, and maybe it’s my own damn fault but I was expecting some damn blood, gore, a child or two getting hacked up by Santa, but no, I did not get what I wanted on my Christmas list for this film.


I always do much better without expectations but putting that all aside I have to say this film was so much fun along with being funny and dare I say that I found it to be cute. Yes, cute. Hoping to not turn anyone off from this film, my standards of “cute” is on the level of still grim but yet I was pleasantly satisfied even without it being as morbid as I would have liked it to be.


 Damn, this girl could have used just a squish more blood in the film. Ok… I’m over it!


I know this this film is hitting up some areas of the world so check out the site HERE to see if it’s playing near you!  

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