New Column: Tom’s Terrifying Thursday Thoughts!





Hey Kids and Creeps out there! I’m Tom and I’ll be your host for the time being. Nicki has finally unchained me from her dungeon basement torture room and is kindly allowing me to ramble on the blog for a little bit. So I came up with some ideas. Let’s start with…


TOM’S TOP TEN MOVIE MURDEROUS PSYCHOS!!! YAY!


Welcome to Tom’s Top Ten Movie Murderous Psychos!!! Yay! Originally I was going to call it Tom’s Top Ten Movie Serial Killers, but some of these on the list aren’t exactly serial killers, hence the title. Anyways, let’s get to it!


NUMBER ONE! 


Patrick Bateman –American Psycho
The title says it all.





Number TWO! 


Michael Myers –Halloween Series
What a crazy bastard! 





NUMBER THREE!!!


Buffalo Bill –Silence of the Lambs
Quoted once as saying, “I’d fuck me.”


NUMBER FOUR!!!!
Hannibal Lecter –Hannibal
He feeds Ray Liotta’s brain to him right from his skull. End of Story. 


NUMBER FIVE!!!!!


The Tooth Fairy –Red Dragon
Like my tattoo?





NUMBER SIX!!!!!!


Leatherface and Family –Texas Chainsaw Massacre Series
Chili anyone?





NUMBER SEVEN!!!!!!!


Firefly Family –House of 1000 corpses and The Devil’s Rejects
The scene in Devil’s Rejects with the family in the motel makes me want to punch someone. 



NUMBER EIGHT!!!!!!!!


Early Grayce –Kalifornia
He’s kind of a creeper in this one.





NUMBER NINE!!!!!!!!!


Mickey and Mallory –Natural Born Killers
B.A.M.F. x2





NUMBER TEN!!!!!!!!!!


Mrs. Voorhees –Friday the 13th 
Mommy’s sick ass revenge!





FAN FAVORITE PICK- MICKY AND MALLORY KNOX!


They have to win the fan fav pick, simply because they are just far too awesome. 


RUNNER UPS:


Dexter –Dexter (exempt because it’s a TV. show.)
One of the greats







Gabriella –Curdled (exempt because it’s Nicki’s Fav and she can make her own damn list if she wants to.)
I love the last line before the credits





And that wraps up our Top Ten list, anyone notice Juliette Lewis was in two of these flicks? 

Now to…


REALITY CORNER



Our topic: Jane Toppan



To continue on with our Murderous Psycho ramble, I have decided to add in this little taste of reality. We all know the great serial killers of our time; Manson, Gacy, Dahmer…you know, I read when Jeffery Dahmer was finally arrested they found a severed head in his fridge. I can just imagine him reaching for the milk and having to move aside this severed head wrapped in plastic to get to it…then probably sitting down and using that milk for rice crispies or…what cereal does a serial killer eat? Seriously.


Anyways, I came across this rare gem, a female serial killer who admitted to killing 31 people. Let’s have a look…


Jane Toppan, born Honora Kelley in 1857, was once quoted as saying, “That is my ambition, to have killed more people – more helpless people – than any other man or woman who ever lived.”  Jane worked as a nurse in 1885. She would use her patients as guinea pigs, playing with various doses of chemicals to see the effect it would have on them. At times, she would administer a dose of a chemical she knew would be lethal, and then lie in the bed with that person, holding them close as they died. She was quoted as saying she felt a sexual thrill from patients being near death, and then nursed to health, then dying. Now this, friends and fiends, is absolutely fascinating. I can only picture her climbing under those white hospital sheets, quietly, as if she’s trying to not wake up the patient she has already sedated. Feeling the warmth of the sleeping body next to hers and waiting for it to become cold, putting her arms around a complete stranger like she would to a lover. Laying her head on their chest, feeling the subtle changes as that person’s breath becomes more shallow, and then finally, death. And that friends, I have no idea what she felt… an orgasm…a release of anxiety…inner peace…maybe its that feeling you get after a really good sneeze. Only Jane knows. Unless there are some of you out there doing the same thing, in which case, contact me at 1-800-incrediblylongphonenumberthatcouldntpossiblybereal-1
For more info here’s the link to Jane’s Wiki page


Well snots and boogers, my time here at heylookbehindyou.com has come to an end. Unless you’ve enjoyed this little treat, in which case tell Nicki and she’ll let me come back next week and do a Top Ten Movie Monster list and a Reality Corner not to be missed! Until we meet again….remember, the best solution to getting rid of a body is…feed it to William Shatner. Thank you and good fright.


Xoxo
-Tom

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One thought on “New Column: Tom’s Terrifying Thursday Thoughts!

  1. +JMJ+

    Big fan of the Hannibal Lecter movies, I see! The first I saw was Red Dragon, which I heard was the weakest of the bunch, and I was shocked at how scared it made me.

    Psychos who cross-over from genre Horror into something more mainstream are the scariest, I think, because we don't get the usual sense of distance. What happens in the movies could happen to any of us. It's easy enough to avoid most of the other psychos on this list (Just ask your town's version of Randy Meeks!), but those three villains could be living next door. They break all the rules, which makes them the most frightening.

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