Muck Monster or The Host Monster?

I recently came across an article on a “Muck Monster” in West Palm Beach, FL.

An unknown sea creature is baffling many people in West Palm Beach, Fla. The creature, dubbed the “muck monster,” would not come above the surface in Lake Worth Lagoon, and made a pattern of ripples seen here, as witnesses were capturing it on video this month. A marine biologist said he’s not certain what it is.


The first thing that came to mind was “Dude, that reminds of The Host.” And yes I call myself dude in my thoughts. And dare I mention the show Surface? Did anyone else watch that? Ok, I’ll keep with The Host.

Whenever I watch movies, I always have a fleeting thought of “What if this happened for real?” Then shrug it off because really, when in my life will a monster pop out of the sea and eat a bunch of people, but this video has made me re-evaluated that thought. Hell, Jaws may not be based on a true story, but people are eaten by sharks like every other day!

Using The Host clip as an example, the first step I would recommend would be, if you see something huge plop into the water “ohhhs” and “ahhhs” and clapping is not the way to go. Run motherfuckers!

Assuming you’re still standing there and not miles away, how about step two, don’t throw shit at it! Yeah soda is good, junk food rocks, but you’re either going to make the monster angry by pelting it in the head with your shit or you’re going to increase it’s appetite for more junk. You eat said junk hence you must taste as good as it does. Monsters think “Mmmmmmmm.”

When the monster has decided it wants to run amok, you should either A. jump in the water and hope it’s too busy having fun to notice you in there than the others “fast food” options running around or B. run in the opposite direction of where everyone and the monster is headed. Go to the sides of it and run to freedom.

Yes, it’s heroic to throw shit at the monster to try to save a fat kid that’s already in it’s mouth but really, if you’re going to attempt such courageous acts, you better be able to run faster than the monster or having better things than floor tile.

It’s not in the clip but the main character is looking for his daughter in the park to take her and run off. She falls down and the monster takes her away. To avoid this, the main character should have grabbed his daughter and stepped out of the flow or at least stood out of the monster’s direct path. I think the likelihood of the monster going after people staying out of it’s way oppose to moving targets is slight. You can hide, not be seen by it and stay there till it’s gone and I doubt that it will personally seek you out. Well, ok, unless this were a movie and your were the main character, then yes, that monster will be all up on your shit. But this is still taken from a “what if this happened in real life” standpoint.

But anyway, my bullshit theories are just a “what I would probably do if I didn’t just freeze right there and shit my pants” so they may not be anything to go by but hey it could work out better than what these characters did in this clip.

I want to say that I know this “muck monster” will maybe not jump out of the water and start eating people but I have to be ready for that possibility, right?

So, I’m open to other theories and steps anyone else wants to chime in. I’m sure I’m forgetting something….. Hmm..

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