As a single girl, my Valentine’s Day tradition is normally watching some horror love-themed movie and snuggling with my dogs. Seems sad, but if you watched some of the movies I do, you’ll have no urge to rush into your next relationship. Here are some of my picks:
1. My Bloody Valentine (original)– Obvious Choice #1. The remake is a fun watch but I prefer the original especially on the love theme. Some miners die on Valentine’s Day because two workers were careless and wanted to go to the annual V-Day dance instead of doing their jobs. The only survivor of the accident kills off two workers and warns the town to never have another Valentine’s Day dance again….or else! I think the thing that I loved about this movie was the end. The very last scene was creepy but related to one dude’s love for a chick.
2. Valentine– Obvious Choice # 2. This wasn’t the greatest movie and the end was predictable but at least for Valentine’s Day you can get some sort of kick out of it. Girls get stalked by a kid they made fun of in school and he’s striking back on V-Day.
3. Misery- You would think being famous would be awesome but not when some psycho, #1 fan wants to strap you to a bed and keep you forever! If you don’t know already, a writer gets into an accident during a shitty snow storm but he’s saved by a crazed fan that wants him to write shit her way.
4. Teeth– The very first time I saw this trailer, I thought, “oh my god, this would be the PERFECT first date movie!” A chick has teeth in her vag and everyone seems to want to bang her. I really don’t need to get into much explanation on this movie, even watching it alone I can still get a kick out of all the chomping scenes.
5. Play Misty For Me– When you’re Clint Eastwood, chicks are throwing themselves at you all the damn time! In this movie he plays a rockin’ DJ with an obsessed fan who loves the song “Misty.” Clint character has what he believes is a one night stand with the chick but she turns into a crazy stalker trying to ruin his life. A cautionary tale for the single and the horny. Think Fatal Attraction only no bunny.
6. May– May is a lonely girl just looking to connect with someone. She’s strange, she’s into some sick shit but deep down, aren’t we all a little strange and sick? Ok maybe not but still I think that this movie is one that everyone can relate to on some level. I can’t say that I have ever felt loneliness to the extremes that she does but throughout the whole movie I completely felt what she was feeling. Another movie with an ending that I just loved.
7. Roman– The guy’s May. Roman’s obsession with his neighbor leads to her death, covering up and falling in love with a new neighbor. This one is not as poetic as May but still a little bit relate-able. Also the lead actor is the director of May and the director of Roman…is the leading lady in May. Wrap your mind around that one.
8. Love Object– If Lars and the Real Girl were a horror movie, it would be Love Object. A guy buys a sex doll, tries to make it like a co-worker he has thing for only, this doll may or may not be taking on a life of it’s own. It’s bad enough for guys who have girlfriends running their lives but when it’s a doll telling you what to do, that’s gotta be worse right? I would suggest for guys to just get a fleshlight instead.
9. Calvaire– If the person you loved left you, you’d go through the motions then get over it right? Well Marc, a traveling singer gets stuck in a hilly billy town and comes across a crazed man looking to displace his angry towards the wife that left him. Marc gets trapped in this man’s sick, twisted world. This movie is not a straight-up “love” movie but the theme is there and this is a pretty damn good movie for anyone who hasn’t seen it. This is very Deliverance-like but it’s haunting and more fucked up.
10. Enduring Love– Another Fatal Attraction type movie, only it’s a dude jonesin’ for another dude. Daniel Craig is pretty sexy in a James Bond kind of way but I wouldn’t think he could turn someone gay. An unfortunate accident brings two strangers together but one (Rhy Ifans) soon develops a sick, twisted infatuation with the other (Daniel Craig). Rhy Ifans’ performance in this movie is down right chilling. Throughout the whole movie he creeped me out and made me uneasy. In this case, you don’t have to have a one night stand with anyone or be a famous writer to have a crazy person want you, just being you can do the trick as well.
Have A Happy Bloody Valentine’s Day Everyone!